[The Column] Dos and donts for BSU Homecoming
September 25th, 2008 by Dave StudinskiThe Ball State Daily News | BEWILDERED SOCIETY: Homecoming dos and don’ts for young, old
This week creates more memories than most.
Giant bonfires. Fireworks. Air Jam. They’re events we see in university marketing material, joke about on Facebook and will remember long after we’ve left here.
This is Homecoming. At a school where athletics never routinely rule the limelight, this year’s spirit party comes at a time when our football team is doing remarkable things. There’s every reason to celebrate.
We are living history.
Our collective actions – selling out games and rocking IU’s tailgate world – are putting us, as individuals, in the history books. As current students, we inherently have the pleasure of experiencing what generations of BSU students never could: a university thriving on spirit.
These are the days, long nights and drunken tangents we’ll recall when we begin our stories with, “I went to Ball State that year.”
Underclassmen will hear all sorts of advice for what to do and not to do this week. Perhaps some upperclassmen have hid in caves – or the Architecture Building – for most of their college tenure. Either way, there’s a lot to take in this week. With this is in mind, some advice as we head into this memorable Homecoming Weekend:
DO attend the football game. We’re 4-0 at Homecoming. Woah.
DO NOT leave the game early. We’re 4-0 at Homecoming. Duh.
DO wear red for the game, like the Ball State home uniform.
DO NOT wear a red IU T-shirt.
DO bring signage to support Dante Love.
DO NOT bring signage saying 9/11 was an inside job.
DO wake up early Saturday.
DO NOT expect beer and eggs to sit comfortably together in your stomach.
DO “Chirp” at every opportunity.
DO NOT hesitate to use new cheers; including those referencing Web addresses for Ball State e-mail.
DO cheer and yell wildly whenever Ball State scores.
DO NOT cheer and yell wildly when your buddy Will scores.
DO visit the Village on Friday and/or Saturday night. The “entertainment” district only comes to life this much once a year. It’s an experience not to miss.
DO NOT grind with friends’ or random unknowns’ parents at Dill Street, however tempting it is. You know who you are.
DO attend some of the parade. There are no mega-floats, movie stars or giant inflatable Charlie or President Gora heads, but there is free candy.
DO NOT eat free candy that you’ve picked up from random street corners.
DO adhere to the previous guideline for sexual partners, as well.
DO NOT bed race during unauthorized hours in unauthorized locations.
DO assume the prior two statements were put back-to-back for the sake of humor.
DO NOT discuss the results.
DO share your food and beverage goodness with fellow tailgaters.
DO NOT over-consume adult beverages between the parade’s end and the game’s start, despite the early kick off.
DO use the rest room prior to kick off.
DO NOT mud wrestle at tailgate … without a teammate.
DO take pictures of your adventures for Facebook documentation purposes.
DO NOT be surprised when some hack makes a post about it on a sleazy gossip Web site.
DO NOT post to said Web site. Ever.
DO maintain writing rhythm during column.
Crap.
DO suspend any political campaigns.
DO NOT suspend anything from RV rooftops.
DO hug Charlie Cardinal.
DO NOT hug any other furry costume running around tailgate.
DO play corn hole.
DO NOT expect me to make a joke about that.
DO observe all posted signs, placards, laws and police instructions.
DO NOT do the “do nots.”
DO turn Kent State’s nickname, “Golden Flashes,” into a double entendre.
DO NOT actually do that … then blame me for the consequences.
Good work sir. quite enjoyable…i enjoyed the comment about scoring…and Will…makes sense.
Steve
September 30th, 2008