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Norton (yes, that anti-virus company that profits off people’s porn addictions and affinities for hitting “yes” to foreign window prompts) is touting a list of search terms teens enter while using the company’s family/kid security software on home computers. Presented here, the top 5:

1. YouTube
2. Google
3. Facebook
4. Sex
5. MySpace
6. Porn

A few tweets outlined the obvious humor in teens determining Facebook to be more popular than bare tits. I, however, question why the fuck kids are having to search for simple sites like Google, YouTube and Facebook. If you are having to search for Google you shouldn’t have access to anything faster than a 56k modem.

Norton’s fear-mongering continues with the full list of 100 search terms, complete with Norton’s own assessment of why the term is relevant.

21. Norton Safety Minder (The small software that is part of Symantec’s OnlineFamily.Norton service. It is installed on each child’s monitored computer and actively informs the child upon log-in that their parents are monitoring their online activities.)

26. Boom Boom Pow (Black Eyed Peas’ hit song.)

30. Lady Gaga (American recording artist responsible for hits like “Just Dance” and “Poker Face.”)

61. Hoedown throwdown (Hit song by Miley Cyrus)

62. MySpace layouts (Various websites offer layouts that MySpace users can download to customize their MySpace profiles.)

63. I’m on a Boat (Song by The Lonely Islands, featuring R&B singer T-Pain.)

And as the above terms hint, if the explanations weren’t horribly ironic, the juxtaposition of list items were:

71. Music

72.+Britney Spears (Hit singer and entertainer)

72.+Pussy

72.+Thriller (Michael Jackson’s hit 1983 song)

Other times, it’s a telling narrative:

85. Disney

86. Naked girls

87. Hulu (Free online video service that streams TV shows and movies.)

88. Naked

89.+iTunes (Apple’s digital media player)

89.+Norton Online Family (Beta name for Symantec’s OnlineFamily.Norton family safety service)

89.+Nude

89.+Playboy

93. Gmail.com

93. Swine flu

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