December 21, 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

Fail – verb: 1) to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved 2) used colloquially, an interjection used when one disapproves of something.  See also: US Airways

After my experience flying with US Airways this past weekend, I can only hope that every dictionary from this point forward includes the above entry.  Of course, this inclusion would instantly make it the single most accurately defined word in the entire English language.  Please allow me to describe to you the details, better known as my own personal hell, of the worst travel experience of my life.

It started on Friday night when I logged online to discover that my flight on Saturday had been canceled due to the blizzard that hit Philadelphia.  I understand that weather delays are beyond your control, and I was more than willing to reschedule.  I logged on to your website to change my reservation only to find that I was required to call an 800 number rather than use the Internet.  I figured that a decade into the 21^st century, a company would have realized that the Internet is a powerful tool that can be used to make processes more efficient and decrease the call volume to what was going to assuredly be an overbooked 800 number.  I was wrong.  I called the number and was told by the automated service that my wait would be 30 minutes.  “Fair enough,” I thought to myself.  I knew that the weather delays had forced the cancellation of numerous flights and many people would be calling to reschedule.  What I was not expecting was the FIVE HOURS I sat on hold (six times longer than my expected wait) only to be disconnected.  When I called back, I was told that the new wait time was a staggering 344 minutes.  Well, at least the system was being more honest now.  Not wanting to spend another 5.75 hours on the phone, I hung up.  Minutes later, just for kicks and giggles, I dialed again, was told to wait four minutes, and immediately was put through to a live ticket agent in half that time (apparently in Mumbai, India, as the customer service representative barely spoke English) where I was able to rebook my flight.  How many people were able to instantly get through while I, along with God only knows how many others, wasted our evenings patiently waiting on hold for someone to pick up?  I know for a fact that I was not the only one as a brief search for “US Air” on Twitter currently turns up people complaining about waits of 258, 223, and 178 minutes among others.  This, of course, does not include tweets like, “@emollick – For the record, USAir’s ‘47 minute wait’ on the phone is now 2 hours.”  Actually, it is worth 30 minutes of your time to do a search for “USAir” on Twitter solely to see the pure anger and frustration that has been bestowed on those who made the unfortunate decision to book a flight with your airline.

Expecting massive delays, I showed up to the airport Sunday morning at 9:15 AM for my 5:55 PM flight.  I’m glad I did as I proceeded to wait in line for an hour waiting to speak to a customer service representative only to be informed that I, along with approximately 20 fellow passengers, had been waiting in the wrong line the entire time.  How did we get that impression?  It could have something to do with the fact that we were all given a special 800 number to call as we were told that this would make the process at the counter easier.  No one felt the need to inform us that the line we were waiting in was only for those who were supposed to have flights take off before noon that had been canceled.  A simple sign, PA announcement, letter, or carrier pigeon would have gone a long way in not upsetting a number of people. 

After finally getting through the other line I waited in for another hour, I began my soul crushingly long wait in the Philadelphia airport for my anticipated 5:55 PM flight.  After another cancellation or two due to weather (even though not a flake of snow fell in Philadelphia all day and Indianapolis had clear skies), my flight was re-booked for a 9:05 PM departure.  As we waited, those of us waiting to board (which included people waiting to fly to Buffalo which was the flight before Indianapolis) bonded over our growing frustration regarding and outright hatred for US Airways.  The situation peaked when the Buffalo flight was canceled, and naturally people lined up at the gate ticket counter to reschedule their flight for the umpteenth time.  They proceeded to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Why?  They waited because there was NO ONE at the ticket counter (Gate C17) for a solid 30-40 minutes to help.  Not thinking anyone would believe me when I told them about this outrageous display of customer disservice, I took a picture of the scene which can be viewed at www.twitpic.com/ufmfk.  Were any of us offered so much as free water, soft drinks, or snacks?  No, of course not.  I commented to my fellow passengers that even death row inmates got treated better; at least they get a free meal. 

Just as we had started Googling “how to build an airplane” after being convinced that we could pool enough money together to build the Wright Brothers’ plane from Kittyhawk to get us home faster, a glimmer of hope arose.  The ticket booth agent finally returned and assured us over the PA system that our plane had arrived, half the crew was there, and we were merely waiting on the other half of the crew to arrive before our flight would finally take off.  Finally the end was in sight.  Of course, that would result in us being satisfied customers, and we couldn’t have that now could we?  Sure enough, 15 minutes later our flight was canceled with no explanation given.  Did the other half of the crew get lost?  Did they forget they were supposed to work?  Were they forced to stare into the Neuralyzer featured in the Men in Black movies and have their memories erased regarding where they should be?  No one knows.  The entire day was capped off by a US Airways employee openly complaining about how tired she was and how she just wanted to go home.  Let me assure you that this is actually the exact opposite of what those of us who had been in the airport for hours (or days in some cases) wanted to hear. 

This morning (Monday), my 10:35 AM flight was delayed yet again as the previous plane going to Atlanta took longer than usual to pull away from the gate.  At this point, I was convinced that if I tried to sell my story to a Hollywood producer, he would reject it for being too unbelievable.  Nonetheless, I waited out the delay and went to board my flight.  As my ticket was scanned, I found that US Airways had started giving away the seats of those of us that had tickets to those waiting on standby.  Upon scanning one person’s ticket, the service representative remarked, “Oh, you’re one of the people whose seat I gave away to a standby passenger.  Please wait in the next line to get a new ticket.”  How this did not cause a riot, I am not sure.  To recap, US Airways managed to overbook an already sold out flight, then proceeded to award standby passengers seats in place of those that had tickets.  Alas, my plane finally took off and landed safely in Indianapolis.  After going down to baggage claim, I began to search online for the number to the Vatican as I wanted to report a modern day miracle: somehow, my bags had arrived on time.  Thank you for that.  Much appreciated.

Once again, I’d like to reiterate that this was the worst travel experience of my life.  I lived in the snow belt of Cleveland, Ohio, for 18 years; trust me, I understand that bad weather happens.  I understand that airports are busy, and delays are a normal consequence of flying.  I can forgive that.  What I cannot forgive is the failure of US Airways over things which you have complete control.  The staff was rude, incompetent, disinterested, and routinely failed in informing its passengers on the latest information.  Offering free food or drinks could have gone a long way in keeping all of our tempers under control.  For that matter, not having staff disappear for a half hour would have done the same thing.  If this was an isolated incident, I could almost, ALMOST forgive it and simply chalk it up to a bad experience.  However, I encourage you to go to http://bit.ly/4vKSlf and read the reviews people have posted regarding their experiences with US Airways.  Be sure to note comments such as “Worst flight experience of my life,” “Easily the worst flights since I had the misfortune to fly on Varig,” “Absolutely the worst airline we have ever flown, primarily due to the extremely poor customer service,” and “We had a seriously bad experience on the international leg.”  I’d share more, but that would require clicking on the second page of reviews. 

If you have made it through this entire letter without ripping it up, throwing it out, or burning it, thank you.  It will have been the most attention that US Airways has shown me in the past few days.  Under no circumstances would I like to see you compensate me for my troubles by offering a free flight in the future.  Rest assured, I never plan on flying with your airline ever again.  I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy, let alone myself again.  I intend to tell all of my friends, family, and perhaps random people on the street to do the same.  The only appropriate solution I see is to issue a full refund in the amount of $391.20 for my troubles.  I look forward to hearing your response.  Happy Holidays!

Sincerely,

Eric Maroun

UPDATE: The trending topics continue to reflect the nature of word-of-mouth rumor dissemination:

That covered up topic there?

*giggle*

Hijacked Air Force One?! Oh wait – it’s just a photo-op!

A jumbo jetliner that serves as Air Force One, escorted by a military jet, flew over Lower Manhattan Monday morning, frightening office workers and causing evacuations in what turned out to be a publicity operation approved by a unit of the U.S. Air Force.

Really. That sounded like a good idea? We can’t even warn people about that?

But several Port Authority executives said the agency received a memo from the FAA but not until some time Monday morning.

The memo specifically directed local agencies not to tell the public about the photo shoot, according to a government official. The memo detailed the nature of the event and the flight details, saying there would be a transport and fighter aircraft flying over the harbor. ”Information in this document shall not be released to the public or media,” the memo instructed. “Public affairs posture for this effort is passive,” it said.

“… may be among the most transcendently, eye-poppingly, call-your-friend-ranting-in-the-middle-of-the-night-just-to-go-over-it-one-more-time crazily awful motion pictures ever made,” The New York Times.

The New York Times gets me.

I cannot get over this movie and how terrible it was.

Absurd SPOILER ALERT after the jumpWill Smith dies in the bathroom because of a jellyfish.

BS Photo | Derick Brattain

It can now be considered official. Brady Hoke has left Ball State University for San Diego State University. Jo Ann Gora, via e-mail, confirmed as much earlier today, and The Star Press has Tom Collins on the record saying that Hoke has resigned as head football coach.

Today alumni from across the nation e-mailed Jo Ann Gora to ask her a question that she couldn’t possibly answer: ‘What went wrong?’

OverThePylon, a Ball State sports blog, has a response they received from President Gora. In it, she blames a number of factors in Hoke’s departure.

Recognizing his achievements this season, the university offered him a new deal that would have made Brady Ball State’s highest paid employee. We willingly discussed and resolved issues he raised. Upon learning of his decision, I asked Brady directly if there was any more we could have done to keep him, and he said, simply, “no.” When Brady told me that San Diego State had offered him a guaranteed package of $3.5 million over five years, I knew we had done all we could to keep him, especially in these challenging economic times.

Ball State did offer to make him the highest paid employee, that is true. However, what the response doesn’t address is the fact that many people know: There is plenty Ball State could have done to keep Brady Hoke here. Some are immediate, such as offering his assistants (many of whom already have their résumé prepared weeks ago) more than a 3% cost of living wage raise after a 12-1 season of which they were a key factor, putting offices near the football stadium or improving one of the worst college football stadiums in Division I.

Maybe we don’t have the money for it in the athletic budget. We did pay Ronny Thompson somewhere around $200,000 to go away and stop causing us problems. A reminder that no one was fired for that incident. However, Gora pretending that the difference was the $300,000 between Ball State and San Diego is foolish. Hoke wanted to stay at Ball State and that difference after calculating cost of living is actually closer to $100,000 by most estimates.

In these trying economic times, Brady Hoke has given the University a valueless gift: national exposure. These, of course, are all short term issues, and there are long term issues after the jump.

A demonstrator holds up a sign behind U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (L) and Federal Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernanke (R) during a hearing before the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee September 23, 2008 on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. [Denver Post]