From Gawker

William Standard was arrested around 1:15 p.m. by Muncie patrolmen Darrin Clark and Brian Campbell, the latter a rookie officer who has been notified he will be laid off in a cost-cutting move previously announced by Mayor Sharon McShurley.

The University of Nebraska-Lincoln on Tuesday suspended Sigma Chi fraternity after newly unsealed court documents detailed a series of alleged hazing incidents, including one in which a stripper allegedly used a vibrator to anally penetrate a fraternity pledge during an initiation party.

C’mon guys … Couldn’t find a circus midget?

The incident in which the pledge was allegedly sexually assaulted took place during an off-campus party at 21st and D streets. The pledge said he was handcuffed and blindfolded, and the assault took place even though he told the stripper “stop” and “don’t.”

So, at what point did his pants come off. One would expect that to be an ominous sign. Well, until you hear about everything else they were put through:

[The pledge] said pledges were, among other things, verbally assaulted in what was billed as a “character-building” activity and forced to drink shots of Tabasco sauce and vodka until they vomited. They also were ordered to leap-frog each other around the fraternity house while being pelted with ice, wet paper towels and toilet paper by older members in an exercise called “Busy as a Bee.”

In an Oct. 1 incident, one pledge said, pledges were forced to stand staring at the ceiling while older members shouted obscenities at them for two hours. Fraternity members called the exercise “character building,” and  older members were usually intoxicated.

And …

In a January incident, court documents say, pledges were forced to sleep together with the windows open. At midnight, older members entered and began yelling and throwing ketchup, ranch dip, dill pickles, full beer cans and other food items.

About five hours later, the documents say, pledges were awakened and made to take cold showers with the windows open.

[via Fark]

This year’s Gmail Autopilot is a riot. It’s mostly visual, so there’s not much to copy here.

Goog’s Twitter account was also “seized” by CADIE overnight. The Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (#wtf?) has compiled Web design best practices on its blog, a must-see for any Web designer.

Over @SouthwestAir, an early morning tweet pointed to a blog post with a touch of humor:

Southwest Airlines announced today that the Company has absolutely no plans to expand service between the carrier’s newest market in the Twin Cities and the Mile High City with three new daily nonstop flights. Southwest did admit, however, that if the airline were to add service between the two cities, there is no way that fares would be as low as $89 one-way, not including fees and taxes.

The post quickly points out/corrects with the truth.

Even Starbuck’s is getting in on the action via its Twitter feed, with this tease for Coffee through USB: http://twitpic.com/2oq2f. The gag even has a Twitter feed of its own. (Can you imagine what that would really cost in S’buck’s pricing?)

I’m glad to see companies with a sense of humor in this economy. Hey – maybe Twitter will go an entire day without the “Fail Whale!”

Ha! April Fools on that.

Head’s up: This vid is NSFW.

The clip, clearly a follow up to Justin Timberlake’s “Dick in the Box” video, aired late in NBC’s Saturday Night Live broadcast this weekend.

[Props @Logan Braman for the tip, via RedEye's Show Patro]

Thanks to Jenny Cecil for the find.