Hosts Kevin Pereira and awesomely gorgeous Olivia Munn test out the new Shake Weight

Kevin and Olivias Shake Weight Flab Busting Trial

Because I am pretty sure that not only will the Shake Weight tone your arms in 6 minutes a day, but that it will also better prepare you to jack a guy off in the same amount of time… or less! Just think about how many more johns you could satisfy during a busy night on the strip. Soon they’ll be asking for you by name… It practically pays for itself! [A dollop of daisy]

As a side note the gay community is up in arms over the statement that this is designed specifically for women.

That was Joe Barton of Texas, a Republican, asking the Energy Secretary how oil magically ended up in Alaska. Except, of course, anyone who learned about Pangea in elementary school, knows the answer and the answer offered Steven Chu makes perfect sense. In fact, it seems remarkable that Mr. Chu didn’t lower his face into the palm of his hand and mildly curse. Does Mr. Barton realize he is asking a stupid question? How does he think that he “stumped” Mr. Chu? Because he paused several times while reading his answer to simple enough for Congressman Barton to understand it?

Oh wait, he was just trying to get Mr. Chu to say the Earth was more than 6000 years old so they can put it on a pamphlet and send it to every church below the Mason/Dixon line.

“The media, the media understands that the fathers dressed up as Indians and threw some tea into the Boston harbor, but for the life of them can not understand why these people are in their streets all across America today. I will explain. Plus Ted Nugent, Penn Gillette, and people actually like you coming together to saying ‘Enough is Enough’. They take a stand and together they will draw a line in the sand. Here. Where it was originally drawn. Live at the Alamo.”

First off, the only founding father that has a possible involvement in the tea party was Samuel Adams. Why was Sam Adams involved? Maybe Teatime got in the way of Happy Hour. Regardless, very few were actually dressed as Indians. The dressing up as Indians was a myth inspired by the famous lithograph “The Destruction of Tea at Boston Harbor“. Of course, the Alamo doesn’t have anything to do with the tea party, but I think that’s a given, seeing as how it is in Texas. And, while, yes there was a line in the sand drawn at the Alamo, it was meant more as a metaphor for accepting certain death over surrender. Which, actually, might fit what the Republican Party is doing now.

Don’t believe me? You can watch the video below. The best part is the Ted Nugent guitar solo for the introduction.

Pi: 3.14159...etc.

But why be against pi? All ten who opposed were Republicans. One was Ron Paul, of course. That guy doesn’t like anything. But why Mike Pence? Is it just the anti-education stance Republicans seem to be taking? Is it because Pence believes the value of pi to be three because he misread the Bible? One has to wonder how he would have voted on this bill.

So what to do? Take care of your outdated Driver’s Licence? No dice, the BMV is closed. Seriously, do those people ever work? You could make a giant snow penis, but our own David Studinski documented the trials and tribulations of one such event. The wikipedia page for snow days is no help, either. So what can college age students do, other than drink themselves stupid, on a snow day?

I’ve searched and scanned the internets (all of them) and could find few more ideas to save us all from bordem.

• Find something hard and go sledding. Except the only hill in all of Muncie is by the mall and leads right into the street or the parking lot. And I’m pretty sure it’s filled with dead bodies.
• Throw snowballs at Freshmen outside of the dorms.
• Create a fort using blankets, liquor bottles, couches, and roommates.
• Get a black piece of construction paper and catch snowflakes on it. Then examine the snowflakes and see how they are different. Then alienate and ostracize the snowflakes for being different.
• Snow cream is a tasty treat. Add a teaspoonful of vanilla, a scoop of sugar and a cup of milk to a bowl of snow. Add more sugar, milk and vanilla to taste. Then smear it all over your sleeping roommates face and post the photos on facebook.

That’s all I found, short of playing football, capture the flag or hide the sausage at your local frat house. Add your own suggestions on what to do below.

And please, whatever you do, be safe. And don’t come to the movies.

What a FAIL : Your everyday life stories

Community failings in an anonymous, streamlined environment?

Why the hell didn’t we think of that?

The site, formed by some French dudes, allows visitors to post a few sentences about something they fail-worthy – all without taking credit for it. The outcome is a Twitter slash Juicy Campus slash Digg-like community full of … fail.

A few highlights from the current posts:

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bublegun flavored “numbing” lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FAIL

Today, after I’d been looking for my mobile for 2 days, I realised that the vegetable compartment in the fridge was vibrating. FAIL

UPDATE: The blog re-branded a few days after this original post, changing it’s name to “F My Life.” The concept is still pretty much the same, so is the site design. Now it’s going viral. And who says profanity doesn’t work?

BS Photo | Derick Brattain

It can now be considered official. Brady Hoke has left Ball State University for San Diego State University. Jo Ann Gora, via e-mail, confirmed as much earlier today, and The Star Press has Tom Collins on the record saying that Hoke has resigned as head football coach.

Today alumni from across the nation e-mailed Jo Ann Gora to ask her a question that she couldn’t possibly answer: ‘What went wrong?’

OverThePylon, a Ball State sports blog, has a response they received from President Gora. In it, she blames a number of factors in Hoke’s departure.

Recognizing his achievements this season, the university offered him a new deal that would have made Brady Ball State’s highest paid employee. We willingly discussed and resolved issues he raised. Upon learning of his decision, I asked Brady directly if there was any more we could have done to keep him, and he said, simply, “no.” When Brady told me that San Diego State had offered him a guaranteed package of $3.5 million over five years, I knew we had done all we could to keep him, especially in these challenging economic times.

Ball State did offer to make him the highest paid employee, that is true. However, what the response doesn’t address is the fact that many people know: There is plenty Ball State could have done to keep Brady Hoke here. Some are immediate, such as offering his assistants (many of whom already have their résumé prepared weeks ago) more than a 3% cost of living wage raise after a 12-1 season of which they were a key factor, putting offices near the football stadium or improving one of the worst college football stadiums in Division I.

Maybe we don’t have the money for it in the athletic budget. We did pay Ronny Thompson somewhere around $200,000 to go away and stop causing us problems. A reminder that no one was fired for that incident. However, Gora pretending that the difference was the $300,000 between Ball State and San Diego is foolish. Hoke wanted to stay at Ball State and that difference after calculating cost of living is actually closer to $100,000 by most estimates.

In these trying economic times, Brady Hoke has given the University a valueless gift: national exposure. These, of course, are all short term issues, and there are long term issues after the jump.

This, more than anything, will reinforce Ball State’s image as a second class institution that you only go to until you can get someplace better.

The administration has been trying to change this image forever. That has been one of Ball State President Jo Ann Gora’s goals that she’s been working on for five years. And she just flushed it down the toilet.

I don’t think she realizes how big of a mistake this was. For someone who has major concerns about how the University is viewed, she sure doesn’t seem to understand subtext at all.

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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS AN ANGRY RANT

The football banquet was a 2 p.m. today, and Hoke said nothing about leaving, according to sources there.

However, the ESPN ticker has been reporting for over an hour that Hoke is talking with San Diego State to become their next head football coach. This has got to be interperted as a slap in the face to Ball State President Jo Ann Gora and her husband, Roy Budd. This is the same university president who sends messages from her Blackberry while the fight song plays at basketball games and disappeared during half time of the last game while the football team was honored.

This is a joke.

Ball State needs an overhaul. If this is the catalyst for that, so be it. It is time for JoGo to GTFO. And take Tom Collins with her.