A question I hear all the time…  No I’m not sulking around in the women’s locker room, but just about everywhere else… minus the sulking.

I don’t necessarily hear this question directed at me all the time, but I laugh to myself regardless.  The reason I find such humor in this simple question is because the answer is more than obvious 98% of the time.  If I’m sitting down at a restaurant with fork in hand and a joyous morsel of food entering my mouth, don’t be taken aback when you say, “Travis, what are you doing here?!” and my response is an increasingly enthusiastic, “I’m riding a jet ski! What are you doing here?”

I know, I know hard to believe I’d be out eating or better yet that I’d have a sarcastic response to such a basic question.  This isn’t to say don’t ask the question.  There is a  2% chance you actually thought the person was supposed to be out of town, out of the country, or dead.  Moreover if they were supposed to be dead and you see them out I think “what are you doing here?” or “why aren’t you dead?” might be pretty fair questions.

Chances are that if I’m at a bar I’m not there for a killer game of horseshoes or four square.  If you see me at a Macys I’m probably not there for the petting zoo.  For the love of god if I have a beer in my hand at the bar and you think my train is getting ready to leave please grab the beer and push me out the door.  I’m just kidding please don’t grab my beer ever.  That’s like coming between a man and his incessant need to… drink beer.  (Trust me it’s the only analogy where you can just repeat it and it works)

I don’t know if what you’ll take away from this thought is to think before you speak.  If that actually happened I’d be impressed.  More than likely it’ll just create a situation where you see me out and you’ll make a specific point of asking me what I’m doing here.  After I run through my list of seemingly endless witty remarks, and my patience, I might just go straight to a sincere and truthful response, “That’s a great question… I’m never quite sure”

Oh and I love this clip