BewilderedSociety.com

A mobile carrier’s Happy New Year text message to a would-be Moscow suicide bomber inadvertently foiled her plans by blowing her up.

The text detonated a vest bomb warn by the bomber while inside a safe hours, mere hours before the planned attack, The Leader-Post said.

[via Threat Level / Wired.com]

If you missed Friday’s “Onion News Network” premiere on IFC, you haven’t laughed hard enough this week.

The the fake news hosts’ remarkable talent rivals their major network counterparts. Their interaction with NBC’s “Today” show crew provides all the proof (and laughter) you need to back that statement. [via HuffPost]

Colbert takes on Palin’s news significance (or lack thereof) during Tuesday night’s show.

The entire rant, transcribed below via Examiner.com:

Mika, you need to buck up.  I know you think this story has no purpose other than keeping Sarah Paln’s name in the headlines for another news cycle.

I know you think she has nothing to offer the national dialogue, and that her speeches are just coded talking points mixed in with words picked up at random from thesaurus.

I know you think Sarah Palin is at best a self-promoting ignoramus, and at worst a shameless media troll who will abuse any platform to deliver dog whistle encouragement to a far-right base, that may include possible insurrectionists.

I know you think her reality show was pathetically unstatesmenlike, and at the same I know you think it represents the pinnacle of her potential, and that her transparent desperation to become a celebrity so completely eclipsed her interest in public service so long ago that there would be more journalistic integrity in reporting on one of the lesser Kardashian’s a#& implants.

I know, I know that when you arrive at the office each day you say a prayer that maybe, just maybe, Sarah Palin will shut up for just ten f*&cking minutes.

I know, I know because I can see it in your eyes.

But guess what Mika, that’s the gig.  It’s only January of 2011 kido.  You still have at least two years ahead of you.  You want to stay in this game you dig deep.  You find another gear.  You show up to work every day, get your hair and makeup done.  You slap on a smile.  You get on T.V., and repeat what Sarah Palin said on Hannity last night right into the lens.  You know, news.

I have faith in you kid, you can do it.  I’ll see you in New Hampshire.  I’ll buy.

Behold Google Zeitgeist 2010. For the textual data (hooray lists!) check out the site and not just the self-promoting – but awesome – video below.

A California Burger King customer ordering a double Whopper value meal also received a double douse of insult, reports KCRA Sacramento.

In not one, but two places the man’s receipt said “FUCK YOU.” He reported the offensive receipt, in turn putting the on-duty manager and responsible employee out of jobs.

“All I did was place my order and I got a ‘f— you’ burger,” [the customer] said.

No word yet on BK’s efforts to trademark the “F–k You burger” for placement on its value menu, although popular big-burger chain Hardee’s saw strong resistance to it’s “Motherf-cker Double” late last year.

A parody TSA Twitter account – still relatively fresh – is likely to bring new challenges to Twitter’s privacy policy and what exactly defines “a threat to homeland security.”

Behold the insight of Agent Smith (@TSAgov):

Your privacy is safe with us. We have Agent Grover monitoring the scanner images, and he’s legally blind. #tsa #tsagov

Do you have what it takes to be a TSA agent? Does the Constitution bring the words “everything’s negotiable” to mind? #tsa #tsagov

Your naked pictures are never saved. They’re only copied to what some refer to as the “spank bank.” #tsa #tsaorg

#randomlyselectedforadditionalscreening